my days are 24 hours long

everyone else’s days are only
23 hours and 56 minutes long but

my days are 24 hours long

i spend my 4 extra minutes each day
practicing my small talk in the mirror:

hello
hello
how are you?
good, how are you?
good
that’s good
how is your twin brother?
good, how is your twin brother?
good
that’s good
did you hear?
no, what?
my twin brother is having a baby in march
congratulations!
he’s scared
he shouldn’t be!
oh?
my twin brother had a baby in march
did it hurt?
he didn’t feel a thing!
that’s funny
why?
i had a tumor removed in march
did it hurt?
i didn’t feel a thing!
that’s funny
why?
i’m having a tumor removed in march
are you scared?
no